The answer you're likely to realize is that people typically don't ask about your weaknesses, but more commonly your strengths and that it is way easier to think about what you're good at instead of bad at. Recently, I've discovered or not so much discovered but come to the self realization that my patience has to by far be my worst character trait. It's hard for me to sit here and admit the fact that a principle so simple (or so it seems) is the thing I struggle with the most.
I had a conversation this week that really tested my patience and the anger that builds up as I get impatient (This is the conversation that really got me thinking about patience). Throughout the conversation, I realized how hypocritical I was being. I was asking this person to just wait, one of the things that is absolutely hardest for me to do. I think that part of the reason I am so impatient is because I am used to things happening fast, I like to know the answers quickly and I am typically not willing to wait. I struggle with being patient in lots of aspects of my life. For example, I hate waiting at red lights and it drives me bonkers when the people don't turn on a green turn signal when they know that it's a quick light. I like to know my test score almost immediately after I take the test, I like people to reply to my texts in a timely manner, I like people to answer the phone on the beginning rings (if you don't, chances are I hang up). I am not exactly sure why these tendencies happen with me and who knows they might happen with you too, but it is definitely something I need to work on. If I could allude my impatience to one thing it would by my schedule oriented life-style (for the most part).
Ever since I started driving, I've kind of taken over the whole chauffeuring for my mom and I shouldn't complain because she pays for the gas, but sometimes the whole waiting around thing gets annoying and I now completely understand why moms hate waiting. Over Thanksgiving break, my mom asked me to "transport" Lily between the nail salon and hair salon, these two places are maybe 5 minutes apart. On this particular day, I had what seemed like a million things to do and moving Lily around was not on my schedule. Since I didn't have much of a choice, I headed to pick up Lily with the knowledge that when I got there she would be ready. Little did I know I would have to wait. I had a friend waiting on me at home and expected me around 2 (it was getting close to 2). I waited for what felt like an eternity and started sending my mom some angry texts. One of my most common impatient reactions is some anger and frustration, not healthy I know because really I should just take a breath and wait on her, but I couldn't bring myself to calm down and just be patient. I get frustrated and angry in lots of situations where my patience is tested and I think what I need to realize is that I just need to sit and wait. Easier said than done, I know.
Not only is my patience tested in this stupid situations, but also in waiting on different things in life. After this weeks earlier post, I've realized that I am not a good waiter at all. I want to think something up and it just happen immediately. For example, I want to know exactly what I'll be doing in 10 years, not because I am curious but because I am not patient enough to wait and see.
Patience is introduced as a fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22 and while looking around for the verse that encaptures what I am trying to share with you, I can't find the exact one that speaks to me. I have found this, “Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them– every day begin the task anew.” I think that we need to have patience with ourselves. Everyday is fresh and we should start over in hopes of someway making that weakness a little less weak (contradictory I know).
What to do? Take a breath when waiting on someone or for something & try not to take your anger out on someone else when your patience is tested. For me this will be sitting in traffic or waiting at a red light. I challenge you to be patient and slow to get angry (James 1:19).
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